Girl in a Bad Place by Kaitlin Ward

Author:Kaitlin Ward
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

When things end, there’s supposed to be a reason. A catalyst. Something you can look back on later when you need an explanation. Even if it doesn’t make you feel any better.

But right now, in the fall of my senior year, I am losing my best friend for no reason at all. It’s like the two of us are held together by an old, fraying rubber band. One wrong move and it could break from anywhere.

Senior year is supposed to be the pinnacle of my existence so far. A glorious culmination of high school. And it’s supposed to be happening with Cara by my side. Every morning, I wait in our spot, not knowing if she’ll show. Or if she’ll even hang out with me if she does. Her greetings are usually brief and impersonal. Sometimes she stays, especially if other friends are around, but more often she goes on ahead into school without me.

Ever since she told me that she needed space, things haven’t been the same. We went from best friends to close acquaintances. I guess the amount of space she needed could fill a galaxy. But I haven’t given up, and since we’ve been back at school, I wait for her steadfastly every morning until my phone says 8:25; exactly five minutes until I have to be in homeroom.

Our spot is beneath one of the sycamore trees that decorate the yard of our high school. There’s nothing special about this particular tree, we just claimed it one day sophomore year. Meeting here became part of our routine.

Today, a balled-up sweatshirt protects my butt from the dew-slicked ground as I sit with my back against the tree, alone, scrolling mindlessly through social media stuff on my phone. The tree’s not far from the school’s entrance, and every day that Cara doesn’t show, I swear I can feel the pitying looks from both friends and people I don’t know as I start my solo walk of shame into the building. I’m imagining the pitying looks, Samantha says. Maybe she’s right, I don’t know.

A backpack thunks down beside me, but it doesn’t belong to Cara. It belongs to Gavin. He sits on the backpack, probably smooshing his homework into a wrinkled mess. It took years for Cara to get me to put my homework neatly in a folder like she does, and never hand in wrinkled, smudged, halfhearted work. Seeing him sit on his backpack like that would drive her nuts. But she’s not here, so I guess it doesn’t matter. She would be proud of me, though. My room won’t be featured in a home décor magazine anytime soon, but I’ve managed to keep it clean all by myself for months now.

“Good morning,” Gavin says cheerfully, and kisses me on the cheek. “I brought you coffee.”

He hands me a steaming Styrofoam cup. I inhale the scent of perkiness gratefully. Perkiness smells vaguely of pumpkin, as it turns out.

“You are my hero,” I tell him.

“You’re setting the bar for hero a little low, don’t you think?”

I laugh.

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